This is courtesy of DBT and Marsha Linehan
At times we will get caught up in difficult dilemmas: “Do I stay in this job/relationship/house/neighbourhood/marriage/country/career – or not?”
Step 1: Acknowledge there is probably no quick fix.
Step 2: Analyze the costs and benefits.
Step 3: Recognize that there is no perfect solution.
Step 4: There’s no way not to choose.
Step 5: Acknowledge today’s choice.
Step 6: Take a stand.
Step 7: Make time to reflect.
Step 8: Name the story.
Step 9: Practice expansion.
Step 10: Have self-compassion.
Three Possible Outcomes for Your Dilemma
- In some cases, over time, one option will start to look obviously better than the other; this will then make you decision easier.
- In some cases, over time, one option will no longer be available. This means, the decision is made for you.
- In some cases, over time, the dilemma will continue, without any resolution. In these cases keep cycling through the steps above. Practice lots of self-compassion, and mindfully live by your values in the face of this ongoing stress.